It's taken me a little over a week to post because I was genuinely upset by Tim's snide comments regarding my last realization regarding the raccoon. Calling my open-minded concern for the raccoon and his family a "love fest" is exactly the kind of anti-emotional statement one would expect from a hipster who goes to see TV on the Radio at the Hollywood Bowl...and then fabricates a raccoon attack to sway public opinion in the direction of "all raccoons are bad."

This is simply unfair.

There comes a time, at least twice a week, that I have to take out the trash. After I tie up the garbage bag and walk out of my apartment, I start thinking about how long of a walk it is to the trash chute. And I think about the fact that the hallway leading to the trash chute is open on one side, looking down on a walkway between our apartment building and one west of us. My next thought is, "Instead of walking all the way down this long ass hallway to throw this bag of garbage down the chute, why don't I just chuck it over the railing into the abyss?" I can't tell you how often I've been tempted by this thought. I've never actually followed through with it though. I respect the ecological health of the walkway too much. This is, after all, the same walkway where Loren encountered the raccoon right before she lit a cigarette. It is also the same walkway that a 19 year old female bum has started sleeping in. Alas, I wouldn't want to fuck up the home of a miscreant.

However, I wouldn't mind ruining the environment or throwing trash at a bum if it's a way to lure in the raccoon. I anticipate the garbage can will be full some time before this coming Thursday...and on that night, whichever night it may be, I plan on chucking our garbage over the railing. Knowing that raccoons love garbage, I suspect this will bring the raccoon to our walkway where I can trap him - in a friendly way.

And the process of getting the raccoon's family back can begin...